What is it like living with an eating disorder?
It’s living every day in fear of the food around you.
You have to eat, it's a biological need.
It's around the dinner table where people get to know each other,
It's how people care for others, bringing meals, making favorites.  
And when you don't eat people get suspicious and ask questions.  
It’s is living with a life revolved around weight loss pills, laxatives, and trying to puke as quietly as you can because you couldn't think of a good enough excuse to say no.
You puke to punish your body for it's biological need for food.
You binge on Cheetos or cookie dough, let it satisfy your hunger for an hour or so and then you puke it up because you shouldn’t have even looked at the food.
Life with an eating disorder is weight scales and the clothes you used to fit and the ways you hide your dramatic weight loss.
It’s telling your body to shut up, forcing your stomach to stop whaling because it wants food and, throwing them off a cliff into the ocean.
It’s putting on a smile after you came out of the bathroom puking your guts out pretending you had to take a shower or you had a really big ****.
its the voices in your head telling you, "you are ugly" "you are fat"
It's not being able to tell those voices to shut up and they consume you.
It’s making excuses and trying to decide how long you can get away with the same one like “oh I ate at home.” “oh I ate earlier.” “oh we’re actually getting something to eat no thanks.” It’s seeing how much water you can drink to get rid of your hunger just to give you some peace of mind.
That’s an eating disorder.
That’s me.