i wish happiness was a given
but it's not a universal gift
you aren't born and given a lifetime of happiness
you have to work for it, fight for it
you can be sad, with no effort at all
you only have to wake up

i wish i was happy
all the time
i have my moments where i wish i could just take a picture of all of these moments
maybe i'll start too
so whenever i'm sad
i can relive happy times
like when i get to drink tea and read
or it rains at night

i remember when i was four
i had an uncle
a best friend really
who looked happy
he wore a mask every **** time he saw me
maybe that's why i do it
every **** day
but when he came, once a day
in the evening, when the stars would start to come out
he always brought his partner, "map"
i just thought he was my second uncle
like my uncle kevin's wife was my aunt
but one night he didn't come
the next day i found out he died
years later i would find out he swallowed a bottle of advil and just waited
i thought it was because of me
but no
he was terminally un-happy
so i wish i had pictures of happy times, i could show him
could of showed him

i wish i had pictures i could show myself
i wish i could be terminally happy
but i guess being un-happy runs in the family

dear whoever-made-the-world,
please make happiness a gift that never fades
is never like a shooting star that barely catches our eye
but when it does, it's already gone
dear, a girl who might die un-happy