"Dear Vladimir Putin, my friend,
Thank you for your ongoing support.
You know I'm really going to need it
If I somehow land in 'court.'

"Keep bombarding social media;
Expand the use of all those bots.
But definitely cover your tracks,
For people will try to connect the dots.

"You know how I--one of your fans--
Highly respect your strongman appeal.
You've perfected your talents there,
As I the art of making a deal.

"I like the way you ******* dissent;
You've got the people under control.
I'm NOT there yet, but give me time.
It remains my overall goal.

"Poisoning my opponents? Well,
Maybe I wouldn't go that far.
But you and I together can think of
Other techniques, tzar to tzar.

"Right now the investigation
Here is really driving me mad.
I want to fire Mueller but need
Grounds completely ironclad.

"Maybe you can help me there.
I'm sure for you it's worth a try:
Help my kiss-*** Republicans
Vilify the FBI.

"I'm trying to follow your media playbook
On how you limit opposing views.
I'm able to spread a lot of untruths
On MY station called Fox News.

"My efforts to trick the religious right
Have been clever and not at all shoddy.
Even though we both know there's
Not a religious bone in my body.

"By the way, you don't have
Tapes of me when I was there
In Russia, do you? You know the kind:
Tapes of me in my underwear.

"Remember the word sanctions, my friend.
We can lift them--buh-lieve you me--
If all the tapes of me disappear.
Your friend, Donald T."

-by Bob B (1-31-18)