Most of the time when i´m alone or I space out i have that heavy feeling where its a mix of being disconnected to people around me and myself I don´t feel like ¨myself¨ I haven´t felt like I was me since 10th grade I feel washed out and everything I do day to day is just me going through the motions Sometimes I feel like this and its hard to get over it I´m not sure if there´s such thing as getting over it Sometimes its hard for me to even remember what makes me happy No amount of painting or music can motivate me It usually does So now all i can do is sleep Only then it feels like I can shut out that heavy feeling I wrote this thinking it would help they say it helps but it didn´t