Life was never easy for me.
Away from mommy and daddy I grew almost alone,
but then you came to live with us, and everything got worse.

You said mean things to us, specially to me.
You nagged about it all, night and day.
                                                            ­                Did we ever do anything right?
You told me I was worthless,
never loved,
just a burden to all of you.

You laughed about these scars.
                                                          ­             Did I ever tell you it was you who caused them? Wait... I did!
You called me crazy, a ******... mentally deranged.
                                                       ­        Do you understand what depression is? I do now.

During these years my hatred towards you grew and grew.
It got so big I couldn't take it anymore.
I plotted your death many times in my head.
                                             Should I push you down the hill, or should I give you a lethal dose of drugs?
We would all be happy then.

But now you are gone... dead.
No! It wasn't me who killed you. It was nature... a natural death.
I suddenly feel like ****.
         Killing you in my head. Wishing your death just to find myself missing you when you were gone.
I can't bear to think that you died thinking (knowing) I hated you.
I don't hate you anymore.

I guess I grew up. I guess my feelings were wrong.
                                            I miss you.
I wish I could have a few last words with you, but it's too late.
                                             I ****** up.

Now all I can do is be strong (for you).
I know you're in a better place, and I shall be happy for you.
I guess, after all, there's no place for hate in this heart.