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Sep 2012
I feel my heart in pieces
       Although I see its whole

I feel aged beyond my years
       Though the mirror says it’s not so

I’m lonely all the time now
       Though the crowds would disagree

And from memories inside my head
       There’s no hope of breaking free


I hate that a relationship
        To start, always takes two

And when it’s time to end it
        All it took was you

Now everywhere I look
        And in everyone I see

A little bit of you
        Is staring back at me


I’m trying to move on
        I’m trying to forget

But all the little things build up
         And so I stay upset

Tears will come, and tears will go
         I’ve never cried so much you know?

And even when I should be hating you
          All I care is you’re not hurting too


I feel like I was cut short this time
           I still have things to say

You handled this all wrong, my friend
          There were a hundred better ways

I may not know you all that well
           In return, you don’t know me

I’m sorry I couldn’t be that girl
          The one you wish I’d be


I was nervous, I was new
         And I was horribly afraid

I knew we wouldn’t last forever
         But I said ‘yes’ anyway

I wanted, so bad, to be there for you
        To fulfill your every need

But mistakes were made, I’m sad to say
        And from me you did recede


I didn’t know what I was doing
        This was foreign, you were strange

And to this day, when I look back
          I can’t see what made you change

There was a time you wanted me
         And indeed you were my first

‘He got what he wanted, after all’
         If that’s true, then this is all far worse


If you used me
         Good for you

I hope you’re proud
         Of what you do

If you settled
       Or were expecting more

I’m sorry,
         I’d never done this before


Was I just filling another’s place?
          Did you plan this from the start?

I’m not sure where I stood sometimes
           But what had I, if not your heart?

I’m not one for protocol
           Nor wrapped up in tradition

While you were pining for a prior love
           With you I did fall smitten


Then things got quite out of hand
           And I couldn’t reach you anymore

All the romance seemed to die
          And you left me feeling like a *****

As much as I want to see you smile
          And though I tried to keep you

It felt like you wanted no part of this
          I only want it, if you want it too


I cannot fathom what went wrong
           I asked and got nothing back

We grew apart, you and I
          Until in silence I was trapped

I wish I could undo what happened
         There are things I wish I’d said

Instead my words remain unspoken
         And inside my heart feels dead


I know I will love others
          That’s something I can’t withhold

Just know that you don’t surprise me
         You acted exactly as I foretold

I know you really meant well
         At least that’s what I hope

Although many here have warned me
          “It was nothing but mirrors and smoke”


Before, we were together
          And now we are apart

It’s sad how I can clearly see
          The finish from the start

I guessed that you would end us
          The same way we came to be

You waited far too long to say it
         So the asking came down to me


Back then you said so lightly
         That I was all you needed

And then you turned so easily
          And said it better if we end it

You hurt me more than ever
          For days I could not cease crying

And the first question in my mind was
          So which time were you lying?
Akina
Written by
Akina
  1.9k
   Sara Ellen
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