I am a paradox
I am 'brilliant' yet scatter brained
I wonder if I even have a brain at all
The gentle thumping of my heart tells me that I'm alive
But yet I see no evidence that this is all a reality

I walk in slow motion day after day
My mind is everywhere but where I presently am
I don't focus, but yet I retain
The sounds of the human life surrounding me tells me that I'm not the only one here
But what if it's all an illusion I built up in my head to keep me happy?

I'm not happy, so why do I wear such a happy tranquil face?
My mind is raging a World War III within itself
I won't win

My destiny is to lose
To lose the reality that I'm not even sure is really there
To lose the gentle thumping of my heart that tells me that I'm alive
To lose the soft buzzing of the human race that surrounds me day after day
Does anyone even notice where I am?

I am lost, to myself and to others
You don't see, yet you are my father and my mother
You say you know me better than myself
So why can't you see that my biggest wish is to rid myself of myself?

One day I will be gone
Gone
Gone