Jan 2018
Sometime I swallow a pause
A fishy tail invisibly sticking out
Of my open mouth trying to
Force syllables in some coherent order
Like beads on a string
That’s too thick I push the words
With all my lightweight might
And see them spread awkwardly
Reflected in some pair of eyes
There is a cold feeling inside my chest
I do not wish to see
Your silent question
I am hiding somewhere
While the other one takes hold
Arrogant *****
I just listen to her speak
With disdain
How did I get lost
So deep in the forest
Of myself
Why small talking
Became so confusing
A fishy tail invisibly sticking out
Of my open mouth trying to
Force syllables in some coherent order
Like beads on a string
That’s too thick I push the words
With all my lightweight might
And see them spread awkwardly
Reflected in some pair of eyes
There is a cold feeling inside my chest
I do not wish to see
Your silent question
I am hiding somewhere
While the other one takes hold
Arrogant *****
I just listen to her speak
With disdain
How did I get lost
So deep in the forest
Of myself
Why small talking
Became so confusing
Pulled an all-nighter yesterday - today found out that my brain is going back into its silent mode. So strange when the idea is formed in your mind but the words just don’t stick together and spread apart like broken beads on the floor. Not that I wanted to talk to anyone. It’s just this weird lack of control over my brain while I am being tortured by my inescapable self-awareness
