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Jan 2018
My world is falling, crumbling apart, life is meaningless & that's just the start
My hearts so sore, I can feel it breaking & I swear to god it leaves me shaking
Late at night till early in the morning, lying in bed eyes wide open. Didn't sleep last night, like all the others, instead I just lie crying in the covers
Quick, wipe away all the tears before they come near.  
Must hide this depression & the feelings of fear.
For all they know, I'm happy & always smiling, but deep inside my soul is dying
I can feel it rotting, it wants to scream, but I won't let it... not for the time being
I can never tell them how I feel because the happiness I wear to them is real
For them to hear that I wish I was dead…….
it would **** them, they'd be filled with dread
So I'll try my best not to be selfish, I'll keep my secret hidden & just let them rest
but god I can't take it much longer... I'll probably be dead before they even wonder.
Sometimes I just can’t escape the demons inside.
How can I tell about the constant war inside?
Everyone would disbelieve in what I say. Unable to
contain what I feel.  They all say that this isn’t real.
How could they, how could they ever say that they understand,
Understand how I feel?
What can I do, to suppress the pain?
Catrina
Written by
Catrina  18/F/California
(18/F/California)   
309
       ---, Jessica and Pagan Paul
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