As the pills slide down my throat

I burn with regret

Of telling him that I love him

Of fighting with my mom

Of not telling my family I love them enough

Of being me

I'm just a burden

At least some people think so

I'm one of those people

I told them that everything is better

But I lied

I told them

That I haven't hurt myself lately

But I have

Small cuts on my thighs

Not enough to stand out,

Just enough to bleed

Just enough to feel the pain I know I deserve

As I close my eyes for the last time

I think about how I got here

They are going to think that it was me

But

Truth is,

It's not me

It's the pills