This doodling Yankee
(boot noah dandy)
doth newt lack chutzpah,
tries to finagle Fitbit
fitting figurative footwear,

that ideally Fitzhugh
like custom made glove snugly,
terrifically, unequivocally matching,
thence handily solving
Finger hut issue,

when or if arctic blasts cold
doggedly enveloped Gaea,
whence humans analogously
held as tumblr hostage

linkedin among
fellow Earthlings freezing,
frost bitten, gangrenous hominids
scurrying haphazardly
searching vainly

from shelter ring sky
(with mother's little helper)
each primate scrambling

(as unrepentant, recalcitrant outlier)
once (what seems millenniums ago)
livingsocial jackknifed habitat fractured,
essentially damning Crispr

bungled ambition
grist for raconteur spewing sought aide
telling tales amidst the mill
by Ponderosa Pine

drawing a crowd of curious onlookers,
who forewent idling
away time structured existence,
thus, nary a clock watcher

weathering whims
as mother nature doth channel
capriciously, felicitously,

and indubitably stripped away
bow ring pastime
asper watching paint dry
now tis each man, woman and child to
(seeketh dale and hill)

to duff fend themselves
whereat mortality will steal
immoral majority linkedin
encapsulated, housed, kindled

within luxurious faux existence
capitalistic dreams engendered
existence fleeced
devoid of featherbed,

indeed mollycoddled memories
yanked wherein current rank and file
endowing superlative creature comforts
reduce wretched survivors

scant band of bare naked ladies
beastie boys, foo fighters
espying counting crows
ready to buzzfeed toe kin
**** sapiens

bereft, expunged, faux
invincibility kickstarting
learning basic survival skills
forced to rescind

twenty first century trappings
shifting paradigm sans primacy
pitting dishabille helpless imps
against perverted pearl jam killers
who do not shrink
from ethically principled,

but give full reign to selfish
callous deleterious foibles,
gruesome harmful indiscretions
sprouting with mushroom
rhizome rapidity

ousting the omnipresently
(well nigh since time immemorial
virtues cultivated,
futilely integrated, lending oomph

residentially, scientifically
tendering ubiquitous DNA
foisting gabled, heralded, instilled,

justified kneaded love
thy neighbor motto
lyft ting in one fell
swoop delicately
embroidered, finely graven,

heavenly ideals
no more patent leather shoes
reflecting up
nor doodling Yankee
staking claim to fame,

via feathered cap made of macaroni
thus such jingoistic, holistic,
fabric ripped retroactively
ramping atavistic simian base,
thus leveling playing field.