We were messed up kids
With messed up families
Who desperately needed someone who cared
We were addicts
Just as bad as the people who raised us
But we were addicted to each other
The attention, the need
We loved each other
But hated ourselves
That's why it worked so well

We had a secret club houses
Deep in the woods
Where no one would find us
Make believe worlds
Held together with shoe strings and branches
Curfew was something we never listened to
Because being together was way better than
Being home.

I miss being a little kid
Running threw those woods
Holding on to sweaty hands
Going to get snacks with food stamps
Never wanting to be home
I miss my life as it was
Gardens growing out of plastic blue bins
Little sisters being annoying
Best friends who never left my side
Friends I never thought I’d lose.

I’m happy that I have these memories
Because life couldn’t continue the way it was
12 years olds out till 1 am
Parents who didn’t care
Self harm and depression that increased daily
Relationships broken and people lost.

I’m older now and life goes on
Even now that I have none of them at my side
I still love them and wish for the days that felt
Like they’d never end.