My dog Lucky passed away today
Over a cliff
I’d seen him put his head out of a car window before
But this was different
He did not bare his teeth
His lips did not ripple
And I did not laugh at his flapping ears
He howled all the way down
I blame her, the *****

Lucky was a mutt
And not much more than a puppy when he met her
She was a purebred Red Setter
And a good deal older
With a pedigree like that
She should have known better
He wanted fun, she wanted his body
But Lucky wouldn’t let her
He’d sniff her bottom
And she’d present
But Lucky wasn’t keen to
Because I’d had him seen to

He bought her a stick for Christmas
Money wasted
She refused to chase it

She went off with a Beagle she met in a bar
He’d made a packet testing cigars
He bought her a fur coat and a fancy car
She demanded a diamond studded collar
And he said he would sort her one
She wanted a dog and he bought her one
The rich are different

Which left Lucky holding the Christmas stick
And he would sleep with it
And his back legs would go
And not very gently
As if he were chasing a Bentley
He stopped eating and his whining broke my heart
So, this morning, whilst we were out for a walk
I took that stick and made it disappear
But throwing it away was a bad idea.