You always wanted to hear the truth
to speak it
You adored realities and you loved hearing stories of people healing after many sufferings
You want people to always be true to you
You have a fragile soul and a loving mind
You are too good to everyone
But why did always thought you’re not enough?
When every time you failed
Every time you fell, you stumbled to the ground
You rose up stronger
better
more at peace
more calm
You cleansed yourself
and I started to admire you
I fell in love with you all over again
I respected you
There were times when I loved you more than I loved myself
You never liked yourself
But all I ever wanted was to be more like you
But that could never happen
I will never live in a time of war
I will never know what fear looks like

You are the person that always supports me
that cares for me even when I’m being arrogant
You never make me feel useless

I have learnt everything from you
I have learnt that depression is not accepting your situation , your present
I have learnt that letting go of things ,of people is something good and beneficial
I have learnt that loving people is hard and takes a lot of  work
I have learnt not to listen to these negative voices inside my mind
I have learnt to pray every time I felt scared and in periods of self doubt
I have learnt to forgive the people that don’t bring peace to my mind
I have learnt that being an independent woman will always help me in my life

I have learnt all these great things from you
but still you convince me that you are not enough
How could you think you are unnecessary
When every time I needed you
you elevated me from all this madness
you gave me sacred lessons
you told me about your childhood struggles and your adult secrets

I love you more than I did you before
more than I loved you yesterday
But forgive me if I ever made you suffer
I am a difficult human being that is hard to handle
But I promise to be better
to love myself
and to accept love from people who don’t know how to express it