Please don’t scold me.
I do that daily.
Tell myself everything that’s wrong.
Point out all my flaws and hate myself heavily.
Please Don’t tell me your disappointment.
I am my worst enemy
& broke my own commitment.
Please Don’t Be so angry..
Showing Hate Just makes me Want To Do it all Again ..
What can you feel ?
Whatever you need to .
I just ask for you to not shame me disgracefully..
Don’t show me how upset you are.
Yes I’ve fallen more than once.
I know it’s wrong but
understand I use to run.
I promised myself il fight harder.
Think around the situation
for a solution that will solve it.
I have beat the battle.
I lose when it’s
too many to handle.
It’s so frustrating.
Drugs is the easiest solution
& in the moment I just want to forget everything!
Please understand..
Most triggers are caused by unsolved events in our past.
You created & added on to all the thoughts I dwell on.
Please forgive me ..
As I cannot forgive my own self.
Yes I used, Again & Again.
I’m aware I’ve fallen
multiple times.
Once again, Temptation beats me.
Weakens my mind ..
triggers my brain
with the good times I’ve spent.
My point Baby..
I’m not hurting you.
For you to be in rage ..
I did not cheat or Betray .
I’m faithful till this day.
I Relapsed.
I’m hurting myself.
Damaging my insides
& messing with my own head.
Please don’t be furious ..
I’d understand the sadness if the reasons for my use weren’t related to you ..
I Don’t Want To blame you dear,
Although I do believe you play a big fault on my low self esteem.
Constant Mesmerizing Sadness.
Of the way you treated me &
how I the fool
allowed myself and still gave you the keys to my heart.
How even then
you still played me.
I can’t forget, forgive or let go.
Only on drugs have I made it possible, then they came back worse.
Hold me when I’m coming down
I just need a hug & love .
My mind races of  negativity
Repetiting I’m so worthless