He was always shy till he got to know the person. He admired her smile and appreciated when they talked. They both had their own crowds two world could they coexist in one together. He was use to being alone while she stood out made the crowds seem fun. He was new to dating a late bloomer while she was experienced wise for her age.
He wanted the perfect moment but he had to make it happen. Things never felt right he saw it one way that was not the reality. It played out in his head his confidence was there but when it came to the moment he froze up couldn't speak. The thought of rejection or no froze his body deep in thought millions of ideas coming into the mind.
He didn't want to hurt or hurt her. Thoughts of this crush turning into more that admiration turning to hate. He wanted to grow with her but she had no clue how he felt. He did feel something. Hard to react on these bottled up unexpressed emotions. Never too old to love but always hard to start over mixed emotions mixed signals not sure how to feel.
Every crush he had the girl was taken or not into guys they both usually like the same kind of girls. He didn't expect much but was tired of hearing about their bad relationship giving advice helping them work it out when all he wanted was for it to end over all the games no more pretending to be okay when it's eating him up inside keeping secrets about fading love made him lose interest in relationships. He had a few unhealthy crazy flings those crazy insecure crushes would cause him to protect his heart making it hard to express himself his words would cause them hurt but he was being honest learned about sensitivity even though he grew up with honesty made him insensitive. Always looking for the right words new love old love was there but always came to an end without him being ready to let go had no say. Hated to overthink let go of that pain. Felt like himself normal free even though he's use to being weird and alone.