Your thighs are chubby
& your fingers are stubby
You sprained your neck
in a recent car wreck
You suffer angina
down to your ******
On your breast sits
2 cherry-red *******

You beat me with a rusty crow bar
after running me over with your car
I sustained horrific injuries to my face
before you sprayed my eyes with mace

Your beautiful smile really got me
before you pulled a gun and shot me

Our passion-charged love begins in the **** line of your crack,
extending north from your lard *** to the middle of your back

Your really stupid life is so miserable and I know that I shouldn't
blame you for committing suicide now because I really couldn't

No scalpels below the belly button or above the chin,
because with surgeons, that's the only way you can win