Im Unhappy
My addict mind begins reminding me about the magic.
I Hold back and avoid it.
My addict mind begins
Whispering my insecurities & reminding me of all things I have not let go of.
Slowly reminding me of All the tears I poured out.
I Stay strong and hold back.
My addict mind Begins to tell me all the false promises you made. 1 by 1 then whispers all the times you betrayed.
I begin to give in .
My addict mind Turns my unhappiness to feeling miserable.
Temptation gets stronger as I begin to remember.
My addict mind tells me
“ go for it baby, 1 Hit will solve it”
My minds now Racing as the memories start increasing.
A regular day can turn me hateful by just thinking of the times I forgave and got played again and again.
My addict mind starts playing scenarios of the times I’d get high.
Making it seem desirable and an offer I can’t pass.
Once my addiction tricks me.
Using to numb my sadness is no longer the reason. It’s the excuse to start my drug Habit.
Once I’m On , my mind and body crave it. Once I’m on, I want to use to use it. Once I’m on, my emotions tie back rapidly, once I’m on , I lose touch with reality.
When I’m on one, All I Do is think about my next one. The next dose, the Next hit and that’s all I care about and Focus on .
I Don’t enjoy Being high on crystal ****. I’m so focused on wanting more that I don’t feel no side effects
I feel nothing but desperation.
All I want to do is Get high and never come down.