For me, the world is very demanding.
Anything that must be faced
with daily care or a special grace
becomes so very tiring and repetitive.
The warm sunlight
and a soft breeze in the clear blue sky
are on the other side of
my closed, covered windows.
I am rooted to one spot
where it is comfortable in the darkness,
where my problems fade into the
grayness,
where my life is not mine to handle,
and I'm so willing to live another's.
It's hard for me to come out,
it's hard for me to pull myself away
back into this world,
where nothing seems to flow in
a harmony that otherwise seems to
exist in the worlds I discover,
streaming from the screen I longingly
gaze at for hours.
There's something missing,
I feel discontented with what is given
rather than cherishing
the life I have the privilege to live.
It's just in my dreams,
I am living different lives, with different moments
and what's difficult to handle while I'm awake,
is so very easy to brush to the side
with a strength I acquire
from dreaming of a world where
my reality
isn't the reality.