Last December we saw that Santa
Had a FOR SALE sign on his "land."
Reporters went to find out whether
His property had been in demand.

"Well," said Santa, "I've had offers
From large fishing enterprises
Who want to move in and take advantage
As the ice melts and the sea rises."

The companies applied great pressure
To make Santa cave; instead he
Declined their offers, for overfishing
Had been a problem there already.

"Oil companies also want
My property in order to drill.
I told them, 'Over my dead body!'
Holy crap, if looks could ****!

"Once I thought that I could make
This work, but that was wishful thinking.
How could I survive up here
With animals dying and my land shrinking?

"Where there's tundra melting, methane
Gas is escaping into the air.
Rats from ships have entered the area;
You can find them everywhere.

"Sea currents and air currents
Both are bringing ugly pollution.
When are world leaders going to
Come up with a lasting solution?

"We are far away from large
Human populations, and yet
Our whole Arctic ecosystem
Is dangerously under threat."

Reporters noticed a weary look
Of sadness in Santa's face, which proved
That things were really affecting the man.
Where would he go if he moved?

"I thought that maybe in Switzerland
A nice, cold glacier would do.
But then again, maybe not,
For glaciers there are melting, too.

"Maybe Hawaii; maybe Tahiti.
That would be a change of scene.
I'll trade the slushy, melting ice
For somewhere colorful, warm, and green."

With that, Santa looked at his watch,
Said good-bye, and went back to work,
Trying hard to keep his thoughts
Away from places where phantoms lurk.

-by Bob B (12-9-17)