This is the story of diamond Fred
who spent endless hours in his shed
now that sound insane
but he could not refrain
from using his clever old head.

He would use his time to invent
and savoured every precious time spent
He was a Jack the lad
but that was not at all bad
his inventions were thoughtfully meant.

The fact that after they were made
they refused to work he was afraid
he was missing the old bolt
but it was not his fault
if his invention did not make the grade.

So he sat one day rubbing his old head
and came up with a bright idea instead
His faith had returned again
thanks to his marvellous brain
he could knock down and replace the shed.

Now was this really a good plan
he was now getting a rather old man
he let out a grunt
to put it a but blunt
his ideas were given an all time ban.

His wife took away the shed key
after  a long and painful plea
his wife saw red
and banned old Fred
he is now as miserable as can be.

The one thing that he could ever dread
was staring out of the window in his bed
he glared at his wife
he once had his own life
now he has to be a husband Diamond Fred.