1. Open-Chest Heart Massage: Gently cut open the dog's chest, spread ribs and massage heart until dog is restored to good health. #2. Brain Surgery: Gently cut dog's scalp to expose skull then drill a hole the size of a dime. Be careful that you don't drill into the brain. With electric saber saw cut & remove an ovular section of bone the size of an S.T.P. sticker. With tweezers gently pluck tumorous tissue. #3. Blood Transfusions: Occasionally your dog is in need of blood. Don't worry about types, factors, cross contamination and species shock. Gently insert port (a coffee stir straw works excellently) into your inner elbow and another into the dog's throat bridged by 14 inches of siphoning hose. Elevate yourself above dog-level as the blood is gravity-fed.  #4. Bone spurs are as tricky as surgery & mechanical manipulations are in order. Gently cut to expose afflicted bone. Scrape bone smooth. Remove debris. Close with sutures and/or stitches.