FOR SALE: 14 broken window panes smeared with dog-****, also 12 broken window panes smeared with **** from animals unknown. Priced right at $5 per pane or take entire lot of 26 for $175 (U.S.). This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer! No refunds! No trespassing! No loitering! No hunting! No parking! No smoking! No swimming! No diving! No dancing! No fishing! No motor vehicles!