to hide behind when battle breaks out
propped up with poles and planks
   Dressed in clothes as Tom Hanks
   Depth-charged to the core of flimsy womanhood
   And when it's time to go
   Submersed she is like Jacques Cousteau
   Plumb and snake, wiggle and shake
   Smear butter on bread
   Smash potatoes into Irish faces
   Shop K-Mart for shoe laces
   Celebrate Christmas in Curacao
   Jump off a bridge