While my gut is large with its ***-bellied potness
It detracts not from my ****, red-blooded hotness
My beam is broad and my ***** is flabby
My dog's name is Fido and my kitty is Tabby
I once had a wife who turned tricks as a *****
She has completely hagged over and turns tricks no more
From the gutter you acknowledge her enormous heft and thickness
It's as if she's never known hunger, disease or chronic sickness
I saw her recently and I couldn't help but to snigger
As she chose to shack up with an enormous, filthy *****
Climbing her *** was like scouring an iron pan
Like buying peanut butter in Punjab, Pakistan
Like sprucing up in prison
Like denying Jesus has risen
Like poking with a stick your sister's gynecologist
Like winning a scholarship to become a cosmetologist