"Have you ever wanted to die?"
It's a question I've answered over and over

"Yes"

But this time it was different
The feeling in my chest was different
The half empty beer in my hand didn't taste as bitter for a moment
We didn't make eye contact
We just sat next to eachother, drinking

"Do you want to die?"

I can feel my stomach searing
Like each letter of my answer is attached to razor being pulled from my body

"Sometimes"

We didn't look at eachother
We shared a quiet moment of understanding
We each took another drink before any words broke the silence

"Yeah. Me too"