“Rod, you look wonderful.”

“Thanks Glenda. You also look wonderful.”

“Rod, will you be staying at the palace for long?”

“No. I have business in Tokyo prefecture tomorrow. I'll be taking a military helicopter transport directly there to save time.”

“Is Stacy with you?”

“Yes, Glenda. I knew that you would ask.”

“I have every right to ask. Stacy is my sister.”

“I've done bad things. I've led teen bikini models astray...promising them my everlasting love while impregnating their sisters. I'm an animal. How many lives must I ruin? How many Japanese beauty queens must I conquer? Glenda, I  must deny these natural & nat-uralistical inclinations. I must be more than a boy toy used by *** starlets to satisfy their carnal needs.”

“Of course, Rod, our passion was a passing fancy.”

“Please. I just watched Rudolph Valentino lose 2 women to his best friend in the 1925 movie Cobra. Valentino would be dead 9 months after this film's release. A friend's friendship meant more to Rudy than incautious fawning & womanly guile. Please Glenda, I tried. I tried and I failed. I know why you do it and it's not why you say. Your brother loves you but he needs to find a girl who's not his sister for a change.”

“Women can be men with feminine issues, Rod. Math is a curious thing. If you're 6' 1'' tall, you are closer to 7 feet than to 5 feet. If you're 5' 3'' tall, you are closer to 10 feet than to 0 feet.”

“Glenda, deep down, your sister is just a a lot of fluid, organs & vessels. I have an eye for such things. I possess a knack for uniting incongruous things, whether it be nuts to toggles or spigots to pet-*****. In The Eagle from 1925, Rudolph Valentino reads a note by candle light. A candle on the table in a moving train. Seems incongruous, somehow. What about the danger of fire? What if my bra comes undone at the amusement park? What if a thousand things go terribly awry? Ha? Well, what about it?”

“Sometimes, dear one, you act as if the Washington Monument is an extension of your physical charm. Sometimes Rod...Oh, kiss me you  fool!”