because you cannot see it you mistake the air for nothing at all it cheats your senses imperceptible second skin so complete surrounding you filling you sealing you in the always and never without within even in absence of its evidence every animal knows which way the wind is blowing except you
paranoia and delusion collude with logic to keep you safe sheep in wolf's clothing hiding among wolves words and behaviors with no teeth without breath without thought their meaning killed over and over by deathly repetition rote belief and active denial
safety is a charade prettiest pose on display polished trap-showcase practiced happyish face unnaturally fixed in place something unsettling seen and unseen settled between your eyes and the kind-of-not-quite smile straining your jaw saying silently something is still wrong
it is Impossible to explain your condition why you sometimes feel so many desperate hands reaching out through your laughing mouth a reverse choke on your own silence you smile at this in self defense you are an animal after all yes, I can see you
your eyes stutter to convince the rest of your face that: no, no this is a mistake, and that: this is a dangerous situation but your mouth does not agree and continues to smile at me
revealing teeth tame with restraint round and ineffectual making your mouth a useless tool false invitation primal fear easy intimidation when predators near you should be more careful who you smile at dear
routines are an ordered madness masking your chaotic sadness build of habits and unconsciousness and your nostalgia for regret and missed opportunities you can not forget
fall prey to your insecurities your self doubt to everything nothing all at once this is how you cancel yourself out
you are a lousy animal killing yourself this way you would die in the wild you belong in a cage