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Nov 2017
you cannot see it
you mistake the air
for nothing at all
it cheats your senses
second skin
so complete
surrounding you
filling you
sealing you in
the always and never
even in absence
of its evidence
every animal
knows which way
the wind is blowing
except you

paranoia and delusion
collude with logic
to keep you safe
sheep in wolf's clothing
hiding among wolves
words and behaviors
with no teeth
without breath
without thought
their meaning
killed over and over
by deathly repetition
rote belief
and active denial

safety is a charade
prettiest pose on display
polished trap-showcase
practiced happyish face
unnaturally fixed in place
something unsettling
seen and unseen
settled between your eyes
and the kind-of-not-quite smile
straining your jaw
saying silently something
is still wrong

it is Impossible to
explain your condition
why you sometimes feel
so many desperate hands
reaching out
through your laughing mouth
a reverse choke
on your own silence
you smile at this
in self defense
you are an animal after all
yes, I can see you

your eyes stutter to
convince the rest of your face
that: no, no this is a mistake, and
that: this is a dangerous situation
but your mouth does not agree
and continues to smile at me

revealing teeth
tame with restraint
round and ineffectual
making your mouth
a useless tool
false invitation
primal fear
easy intimidation
when predators near
you should be more careful
who you smile at dear

routines are an ordered madness
masking your chaotic sadness
build of habits and
unconsciousness and
your nostalgia for regret
and missed opportunities
you can not forget

fall prey to
your insecurities
your self doubt
to everything nothing
all at once
this is how you
cancel yourself out

you are a lousy animal
killing yourself this way
you would die in the wild
you belong in a cage
Sara Reilly
Written by
Sara Reilly  Earth
   Lior Gavra
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