When you were trapped by an avalanche, I dug you out. When your parents were eaten by cannibals, I held your hand and told you that it's okay and that being eaten by cannibals isn't so bad. Remember?
   And then your check bounced, forcing me to move to Michigan and then your water broke on the ferry boat and the baby fell overboard and had to be rescued by college students. Remember?
   Last year “the baby,” who had fallen overboard into the unforgiving waters of Lake Michigan, was sworn in as president of Puerto Rico. You were so proud, just standing there with a hundred thousand Puerto Ricans. Remember?