After a chain saw-owning neighbor's travel plans become known to you the time is ripe for chain saw theft. Swatches of eavesdropped titbits that'll come in handy: “I'm going to Chicago to **** ******* for the weekend” and “I'll be ******* greasers in Loredo on Simón Bolívar Day.” Such info let's you know the best time to steal his chain saw. After his chain saw is safely in your possession you MUST paint it. When the neighbor returns and asks: “Have you seen my ******* chain saw?” You ask: “What ******* color is it?” He says: “******* red.” And you reply: “You're ******* out of ******* luck because the one I got is ******* primer black...Oh,” you caution with neighborly concern as he moves in for a closer look, “don't touch it because the ******* paint is still wet.”