t h o u g h t l e s s
--
i wonder if my brain doesn't know
what to think, or if it did
i wouldn't want it to.

thoughtlessness is just the veil we cover ourselves with
when you know the thought is something not needed to be said.
but some others aren't so concerned.

she curled her lips
at the expense of others;
smiled when our eyes met.
and for the 1000th time,
i was thoughtless.

uncover yourself!
liars, calm your tongues!

i wanted to explain
how discontent and irreparable i felt
from the words falling out of that woman's mouth.
it dripped, settled, and rooted itself in my heart,
missing the deep moat built to keep them out.

so i rebuilt it.
and i thought of all the ways
to keep it hidden.
--
t h o u g h t f u l
--
of gripping emotions
and little time,
i am thoughtful of you.

day in
night out

of connect the dots puzzles
found in old restaurants as kids,
we are the dots right next to each other
ready to fill in something grander.

and i am thoughtful of you.

of roots planted
in me by you,
or in you by me,
i felt connected
and rushed to say:

"of all places i'd want to be planted,
it'd be here."

of words unsaid, we might be setting ourselves up to be
star-crossed lovers, up high; harness detached, to be dropped.
but all this month i've been digging, and last night
i saw the first sparkle of gold, staring back at me
with your smile i never want to forget.

this smile not out of deception,
but adoration. comfort. belonging.

and i am thoughtful of you.

of pages read and words said,
under moonlight or incandescent bright home;
wherever we might be, i am thoughtful
of all you've done.

another day, yellow in essence
another out, black as my back turns

of those car rides up north
to fill in the rest of the dots,
i am thoughtful
of where you will be.

in this maze-like city
for the first time, i won't feel lost
for i have somewhere to be,
and you to find.

of lightly feathered emotions
and the realization we have
all the time in the world,

i am thoughtful of you.