Wannabe wrote to the judge and said he wanted to proceed pro se.
The judge replied back and said that it was okay.
Not knowing that Wannabe knew less about law than most lawyers forgot
When Wannabe was looking on Amazon, he had an amazing thought.
They said if you wanted to hide something from a black put it in a book.
But he replied to himself, They did not figure that this black would look.
Wannabe figured that he could teach himself the law like school.
He didn’t know that both the professor and the student in this case was a fool.
Finally, and most amazingly, the day for the trial was here.
Wannabe was confident he would win, he did not fear.
He say that the landlord had at his side appointed counsel.
But Wannabe thought that the case hinged on the stronger will.


Wannabe held on to the podium as if he wanted it choked
There wasn’t a single rule of opening statements he hadn’t broken.
Wannabe said To my friends, my enemies, and my haters.
He thought this is my chance to say what wasn’t in the motion papers.
Then Wannabe looked up at the judge and said May it please the court.
This should be both a property dispute and a tort.
Because during my time there, he made me very distressed.
He was both a menace to society and an enemy of progress
The landlord’s lawyer did not object because he was so shocked.
That the law could be so abused, battered and mocked.

Then the landlord’s lawyer called his witness to the stand.
And asked him a very simple direct question.
Wannabe shouted out with a loud cry, “Objection”
Then he said under his breathe for all to hear, “I am not the one”
The judge said that Wannabe’s objection was overruled.
Wannabe said, “Im not a lawyer” and the judge replied, “No one was fooled”.
Wannabe continued to carry on until the judge called him for a conference.
And told him that if he did not behave, his case would be dismissed.
Then it came time for Wannabe and Wannabe said, “I wish to direct-examine me”.
The judge said No you cant do that, and very angrily.
Wannabe had to sit down because he did not have a witness or expert.
Then the judge said that he lost, and Wannabe was especially hurt.