I was sitting at home.
Watching tv.
When I decided to go out
And get the mail.
I look through the mail.
One of them is from Sallie Mae.
I sigh
Deeply.
Sallie Mae is like a stalker woman.
Wait not like, is.
She won’t quit calling my house.
She wont quit sending me emails.
She wont quit giving me letters.
Most of which I tear up
And burn in ritualistic fashion.
See, I don’t have the money.
I don’t have the time.
I don’t have the patience.
I am not the one.
So I call her on the phone.
And for an hour and a half
I explain to her my situation.
That I took her out
With the expectation that money would come later.
But now jobs are hard to come by.
So cant we just be friends?
She then starts throwing words about like interest.
I don’t know where that came from.
I’m certainly not interested in her.
I started to talk about forgiveness.
My bad
So I decide to forbear my loans.
Future me can worry about them.
It can be future me’s problem.