My cousin came to my house And stayed after Thanksgiving I thought that Thanksgiving food was enough Boy, was I wrong. He woke me up at noon At noon. Didn’t he know I had to sleep off the Thanksgiving meal? And he said As if I should have known. Could you get me the cheeseburger pizza salad slice? I replied, From where? Who would have such a concoction?
But I knew him. He would be the type To ask for a cheesy gordita crunch taco from Burger King And look at their confusion with his own puzzlement. Then when they told him, we don’t serve that. He would reply, It’s okay, I have the recipe I can tell you how it is made. So I get up and put on my coat. And gloves. Because I don’t want grease all over me And start to walk.
And just my luck The first snow of the season starts. Not heavy enough for me to turn back Just enough snow to turn it into an experience That made me wish I would have slept upstairs In the closet So my cousin could not find me. Its like the Making the Band 2 show When Puff Daddy tells them That he wants cheesecake in a different borough. So I guess my cousin’s Puffy now. He said he was into producing….
I get to the pizza place And tell them what my cousin wants But it took me three tries to get it all out. They said, I’m sorry, but we don’t have the cheeseburger pizza salad slice But we have the chicken pizza salad slice I said Good enough I’m sure my cousin would be happy I would regret those words I brought the pizza home. And told him that I got it. He seemed happy Until he saw that the meat was chicken Not cow.
He asked me Had the audacity to ask Couldn’t they remove the chicken And put hamburger meat? I tried to tell him, That is not how it works They don’t respect your recipes They have their own What is the difference? He then pointed at the pizza and said Chicken goes on burgers It does not go on pizza! I was stunned into silence By that logic I don’t know how cheeseburger and pizza go together. I told him I would eat it for lunch So at least one of us was satisfied. The other had his own ideas But couldn’t find a store to cook them.