Oct 2017
I've been going through a long battle with my mind.
You see its so hard to wake up everyday with a visage, when everything seems to be boiling up inside.
I'm filled with so much anger yet I don't know why.
There's so much beauty in life and yet I struggle each day to see through these clouds weighing down on me.
I feel like I can't breathe yet I'm trying so hard to stop myself from drowning.
These suicidal thoughts have a way of finding its path through these cracked scars in between my soul and heart,
an ongoing battle of self love to self hate.
I have never been this lonely in my life,
yet the very same man whose heart is mine and mine his,
doesn't see beyond this broken being.
I can't do it anymore.
You see its so hard to wake up everyday with a visage, when everything seems to be boiling up inside.
I'm filled with so much anger yet I don't know why.
There's so much beauty in life and yet I struggle each day to see through these clouds weighing down on me.
I feel like I can't breathe yet I'm trying so hard to stop myself from drowning.
These suicidal thoughts have a way of finding its path through these cracked scars in between my soul and heart,
an ongoing battle of self love to self hate.
I have never been this lonely in my life,
yet the very same man whose heart is mine and mine his,
doesn't see beyond this broken being.
I can't do it anymore.
I'm thinking of committing suicide. I've attempted many times before in my junior and senior year of school. I'm now a uni student and the world doesn't make sense to me, there's too much of a burden to take and I feel like maybe I should just push harder and jump off a cliff, or lie to a doctor just so I can get prescription pills. This is not a cry for attention, its a cry of a lonely person whose has never learnt how to love because she's never been loved. I'm so scared.
