Richard Simmons celebrated Disney "gay day" by eating
tulip salad. "Sure, my penectomy smarted a bit. Whose wouldn't?" Said Richard just before he
vomited  down Bruce Jenner's tube top. Queen Elizabeth shared her beauty secrets with
Albanian news hounds: "I eat 17 meals a day when my kidneys aren't working."

When she wasn't infectin' mayors wirh V.D. as Florence Henderson
she was ******* naked on the cut backs of horse sense lender men
whose oral contracts imparted a back-alley-*****-tense fender bend
along with milk-shook mamas behind puréeing a core blender trend
along with milk-shaken sisters behind puréeing a sore blender trend
underneath creamed-up sailors above puréeing a porch tender mend
while Carol Brady was no more ****-like than Florence Henderson
'cause it'd be a Brady day to be a **** just like Florence Henderson
It's a nice day to be a homosexual when Mexicans are mexi-textural
The terror of ****** *** wart's cruder than pleading in county court
where bi-homosexy *** snake handlers milk *** snakes by the quart
under citations ***** v. Whitey or ***** v. ******* for short
"It's a great day to be a homosexual!" 1st Earl David Beatty giggled
as a he-man whose *** change surgical extract like a worm wiggled
on beta-baited hooks to snaggle your superior stylistical pig girl old
below her belly button in the clever tract where she flags a curl fold
that ****** counterward to a tsaristical Skoptsy "lesser seal" of total
****** avulsation to a "greater seal" of penectomized ****** ablation
that emasculated not movie-makin' Fritzes: Lang, Rasp & Schmuck
whose women were oiled for hot nights of ****** ****** *******

My chihuahua's biting is just his way of telling me that I need to be bit. Am I a man? Am I a mouse? You know you are a terrorist when your neighbors set their clocks to the routine phone-in bomb threats that you make to the court house.

CONVERSATION WITH A NOODLE ("Hey noodle.") ~ I met my beautiful lover at a concert featuring
Timmy & The Trans-sexuals. My sweet baby was dressed in a bikini, so I knew that she wasn't a
*******. She wasn't sure about me because I had left my bikini at home in my bikini drawer.
"Wanna go on a picnic or something?" I asked. "Sure," she said just moments before her leather
bikini bottom swelled too much in anticipation of free picnic food. "Hey, just a minute!" I exclaimed.
   Half ****** maiden beauty just washed & de-loused. Age 20. Gentle ringlet hair texture, small
*****, orthopaedically strong, speaks basic English, no known diseases. Will trade for storm
windows. Let's make a deal!