Since Tuesday night I've felt a bit *******.
A negative energy feeling about the situation.
You no doubt think badly of me and I totally get that.
I didn't intend to be dishonest or morally ambiguous.
I wasn't even initially attracted to you.
But then you evoked an interest.
I liked your humour, your bluntness, confidence and when you told me little details about you.
You turned me on. You turn me on.
I wanted to know more.
You excited me and I enjoyed it. I became attracted to you.
I admit, I never discouraged you.
You never asked me personal details and didn't divulge your own.
I assumed that was because you were just having fun, which was fine.
So was I.
I'd never done this before.
Online with someone I've never met, it's all new to me.
Attraction is a strange thing.
Maybe I'm unsatisfied, fed up or stagnant with where I'm at.
Maybe things happen for a reason.
I don't know.
Who says what socially acceptable limitations are.
I want you to know though, I didn't mean to deceive you.
I actually wanted you to know but I wasn't sure you were interested in knowing.
I don't want to be a freak and make a dramatic deal over it when you probably couldn't care less.
I don't like the thought of making you feel crap about it though.


So I wrote something down. I guess trying to explain. Didn't want to fire it off at an inappropriate moment or you may not want to hear it at all.
Which is fine.