I am walking on a trail I am uncertain of Reaching for the stars while hopelessly grasping for the ground underneath my broken feet I am touching your tears afraid that if I do not wipe them away you’ll wipe me away The thought of you in pain always makes me feel like throwing up Someone as precious as you should never understand what it means to be hopelessly alone while surrounded by people who love you I am afraid to understand the misery that lies beneath your more than somber smiles I’m following a journey written out to me by the government Spending money I don’t have Hopelessly aiming for a future where I can provide for you and help everyone who’s ever helped me This accumulative debt is a spark in my check book Ruining my finances but helping me achieve something greater than myself I could never write poems the way you write music And every time I look in the mirror I see a missing piece of me and I cannot find it no matter where I look I’m trying to find myself alongside you Afraid that you’ll be another to leave me behind and achieve grand things without me Even if I am a lowly writer Even if I am a hopeful poet Even if I am a hopeless person I need a sense of fulfillment to keep me alive I am a train and no one is filling my coal I have stopped on the tracks of life and I do not know which way to go There are storms rolling in and the thunder is so loud that I cannot hear myself scream My heart beats at an exponential rate and I no longer know if I want it to finally explode Or for it to just stop The clickity clacking of my fingers typing away on my keyboard is music So I am a musician just like you Only my instrument of choice is my growing vocabulary and my lyrics don’t always make sense But I am still walking Sometimes I run to a destination I’m certain doesn’t exist