I wish you understood as much as you think you do Maybe then I wouldn't break down quite as much You know what happened, the baseline of my insanity But I want you to know how I feel towards the boy who dropped me, my ex-best friend, and the one I'm in love with I want you to understand everything that's going on in my head The way it spins when I remember the details of last weekend The way it pounds when I see them together The way it screams when the same thing happens to me over and over again But how could you understand If I'm being honest, I don't even understand myself I don't know how to prevent my sob fests I'm not sure why I let it all get to me But I do It eats me from the inside out and I know I can't be the only one So why do I feel so alone? Throw a punch, Shove me around, Cut me deep. Physical pain is better than emotional You can't fix what's throwing your body off guard with a **** band-aid It'd be easier to fix a bullet wound with one This generation is so messed up Everyone's hurting and nobody's willing to help It takes a tv show for people to realize that there are others hurting more than you And everyone's first reaction is to be mean, to tear you apart I just can't stand it anymore Don't tell me it'll be different That only time will tell I've heard it a million times and it's all a big lie The same thing will happen over and over and over again Like a broken record, if you even know what that is anymore She's always going to bully me And the fears always going to be with me He's always going to treat me like I'm nothing And I'm always going to let him She's always going to stab me in the back And I'm always going to pretend like I don't notice And ten years from now I'll look back and realize that I was right The same thing happened again and again just with different faces I miss her I need him I crave you I just want unconditional love and a decent nights sleep Is that really too much to ask?