I held onto my delusions for too long. Your vellum eyes spoke to me And I translated what they were saying into what I wanted to hear. But now You don’t love me. If you loved me, this wouldn’t be happening. I wouldn’t be waiting around for you Like those girls I hate Those girls who pine and cry and don’t do **** to make their life happen. I turned myself into what I despise.
I am capable of such abject cruelty To the men whose hearts I possess That I disgust myself. I look back at what I’ve done and I don’t even recognize myself. And hell, I’m strong. I can lift my own weight I’ve never been too tired to fight off my own demons. But I can’t lift a finger against you. This man I fought for instead of against. The only weapon I have is the one I can’t bring myself to use.
I’ll hold onto silence as long as I can. But even I know that it won’t be long before I give in.