breaking my atmosphere

first you find terrors
boys, spiders, darkness
tell them to leave me alone
if you don't mind

when you find my family
introduce yourself
i have not seen my dad in years
nor my nana
or my papa

when you hit emotion
be sure to say hello
because here is where i spend most my nights
anger, envy, numbness

upon your arrival to friends
ask my best friend what turned her bitter
why did she drop me on a dime
after 8 years

next is past loves
don't pay them much attention
they don't care about me

I'm not sure what is at the burning core
but i know its something heavy
sometimes at night i can feel it pounding
like an animal begging to be let out
maybe why i don't open up
especially not this deep down
who am i