Don't look to General Washington. If you can tie your shoes, ***** in a light bulb and crush a flea between your thumbnails you can make a set of teeth. It's that easy! Armed with my knowledge of false teeth fabrication you can politely say ******* to your dentist! It will be the easiest thing you've ever done! Read these testimonials.

Mr. X: “I told my dentist to shove a crowbar up his ***!”

Agnew Nixon: “My dentist said it couldn't be done until I told him to swallow a hand grenade and he ordered me out of his office.”

Dan Q. Bush: “I was hesitant to cuss out my dentist. But once I got into it I thoroughly enjoyed the process.”

Jack Lord: “Knowledge lies in wisdom. I threatened to knock my dentist's teeth out in front of his staff and they were impressed. Two of his hygienists offered to assist me.”