I don't know where to start - perhaps the beginning is my best bet.
Although I'm not sure if I should start with the "beginning" of my life or just the misery yet.
I write these cliche rhymes to distract from my mental chaos,
To veil the scattered thoughts for which I am at a loss.
Should I explain how at 34 years old I have yet to find true love.
Or how I'm stuck in a hellish job which I'm sick and tired of?
or that I am proud and ashamed of my family at the same time.
or how I worry that I have missed my calling & that I'm past my prime.
Is this the proper venue to SCREAM for a helping hand?
Am I alone in this jungle of inner battles in this foreign land?
Foreign because I don't know who I've become,
don't understand the language in my head, where these surroundings came from.
Makes no sense to you because you don't know my history
Even to me my ramblings are a mystery.
My brain shoots thoughts like comets to the page.
Flashes of light in my mind, Lightning streaks, trampling like a rampage.
How can I feel so capable & confident
and at the same time helpless & insecure?
How can I write so many words
and say nothing.....

© 2012 Cindy Quick