my friend Lily always says that we accept the love we think we deserve. it's a quote from her favorite book. but i don't think it's quite accurate. in fact, i don't believe it's true at all. I think we accept the love we think we can change. i don't think that a relationship should be based of skepticism oor uncertainty, lack of agreement or trust.  but those things change. they have to, don't they? can i ever love someone fully if i don't trust them? can i ever love somebody if all i'm doing is revisiting their social media page every tume i open the app? do i love them? am i obsessed with them? or am i obsessed with protecting myself?

i accept the love i think i can change because my grandmther once told me that my love can create chaotic fires in people if i really wanted to and that love can do almost anything. and i think that's why i like church, because they teavh you to love with every ounce in your body. they teach you to write loe letters with their voice, and to never hesitate the spilling of your own blood even if that means you can't save them.

my grandmother taught me that love can transform, love can change. love doen't come in decorative bags or in Kay Jewlers wrapping paper. love comes form understanding and the desire to give more than you will ever recieve.

i accept the love i think i can change because maybe, just maybe, that love will love me in return.