I am writing to you because i dont want to live. Twisted, sick emotions & i picture men touching, wanting. Horrendous endeavours
Still
All i want is to be loved. To have a stranger nuzzle my neck & to kiss the face of god
And everyone is an angel where i live. No demons, just individuals passing through a simulation. Desperate for survival.
I want to die.
My heart aches & this loneliness is a thick blanket & i know i know i know
There is something wrong with me
I dont know how to salvage my self
Or if thats even possible
All the horror. Relentless flashbacks & i thank the universe, the neurons, for hiding my childhood
I fear
I am the embodiment of fear
The scars on my arms scream tragedy
But i dont want to be
I desire light & hope and warmth & i wish i could smile and never stop
I am reaching
But i fall