Sometimes,
Usually at the worst times,
It becomes painfully obvious,
How very different we are.

You're never going to love me
The way I love you.
And I'm never going to be the
Type of sane, the type of stable
That you want.

It isn't that we're not compatible.
It isn't that we don't love each other.

It is simply that
We are very, very different.

I realized this last night.

From our interactions.
From you barely showing affection.
Ftom you only kissing my lips five times since you got home.
From your reluctancy to provide me comfort.

From how the words "I love you" and "I need you" and "I want you around"
Kept getting caught in my throat
And instead came out
As mangled "I'm sorry"'s.

Because I am sorry.
I'm sorry I have loved you for so long.
I am sorry that I desire a love and affection from you
That it seems you cannot give.
That, at the very least, you cannot give to me.

I am sorry for trying to force my way through your walls.
I am sorry for trying to make you love me
The way I love you.
That was too much to ask.

I am sorry for relying on you.
I am sorry for trying to make you care for me
More than anyone really should.

I am sorry about all the problems I've given you.
All the pain I've caused.

I am sorry.

I can assure you, it will not happen again.