I need to calm. DOWN

Twitching in a pressurized position, I
make jerks and curses towards the sky
My future home. Both tantalizes, and does not tantalize
Because I do it to myself!
And then, because it's they who pressurized.

So I turn on "Just" by Radiohead, a flickered frame
Picked of some random day. And I think,
There must be
Some deeper force at play.

(Alone)
I walk around the house with a rabid mouth!
I talk to myself and let the frothing bubbles boil over
Into insane rambling and I try to pick little poems out.

But just listen to me now...

When the hissing and spitting of my organs is over
I have natural smooth
When my skin catches wind,
And momentum can soothe.

But I feel as asphyxiated by attacks of smoke
Smacked by each wave, unable to cope
See my future home approach in flights
And I welcome home the dreams
That stress me out
Some nights.