Every single sleepless night I have had without you
is like a withdraw from the dreams in which I saw you
it’s true, I wish I fell asleep more often
so I could have that dream where you soften the blow that my ******* life has dealt me
but in reality the pain I feel only appeared when you left me
I can’t begin to forgive myself for making you resent me

I used to laugh at your superstitions; the way you’d hope over cracks in lanes
how ironic is it now that I won’t walk over three drains?
I don’t need any more bad luck
it ran out the day you did too
no matter how much I ran after, there was no way I was reaching you

Nostalgia only shows me good times
though i choose to ignore the bad
My stubbornness made me leave you go
though i wish i never had
my chest feels like its bleeding
darling i am begging, i am pleading

who am i kidding, i don't want my old life back.