you remember me as a girl that I don't recognize
I'm not afraid of the words you might use to describe it
words used to diffuse the feelings of guilt
that I imagine you're feeling
(or the guilt I hope you're feeling)
I look back and I don't know what I'm not seeing
I'm not afraid of you not telling the truth anymore
(I'm not sure you knew how to do it back then)
and it's freeing
(but I remember you as a girl I probably don't recognize now, either)
the early teens of the 2000's ******* burn me
memories of my girls ******* hurt me
I still think my only fault was needing them too much
forgetting their problems, because they were my main crutch
but feeling guilty makes me feel filthy
because I only needed support and healing
not lies and betrayal and scheming
and I still need healing
I wish I could forgive you
and I wish you could forgive me